We All Want Control

If the #MeToo revelations have taught us anything – and they have taught us a lot – it has been about misogyny.  We’ve learned that women want to be treated with respect.  Women also want to feel love and connection.  These days,  a woman will explain that she must be able to feel safe, and she must be able to do this while dreaming about 50 Shades of Grey.

Sensuality, like all aspects of life, is filled with imagination. Fantasy is mostly never reality.  It might be topless, bottomless, masked or masochistic.  Fantasy can be voyeuristic or it might involve a rough looking man at the back of a pub.  It’s always safe, possibly noisy, and can involve anything from red nail polish and white socks, to Captain Jack Sparrow.  Hell, some fantasies might even involve Jar Jar Binks.

Fantasy Can Be Hard To Share

We keep most fantasies to ourselves.  Nobody wants to share and end up feeling rejected because, well, because “I could never do that without feeling just terrible!”, or worse, be told that the Filch-like sadist,“Reminds me so much of you!” Fantasies are often very private.  You might share your fantasies with the person you love, but only sometimes.  And you might not know which ones would be appealing.

“I have great fun imagining a man with an eye mask and a striped t-shirt will chase me around the house.”

“Why?”

“Because it’s HOT!!!”

“It’s not hot, it’s a symptom of all that is wrong with the world….let me tell you, crime statistics….”

And you spend an evening listening to the miseries of the world, which really wasn’t what you intended.

It Could Be Worse

What if your partner starts analysing you?

“What’s wrong with you?  What kind of repressed lunatic starts thinking about burglars?  How do you know he is a burglar anyway?”

“Because he has a sack on his back and he….”

“Who thinks of these things?”

“Well Sting does, he had that song”….”look, do you want to get closer or not?”

You don’t want to seem overly shy and demure with someone who would love to take part in your fantasies but you don’t want to act out anything which will have you carted off by men with syringes. Getting over-excited, resorting to actual violence and then needing to spray your partner with mace would be a disaster.  It’s a complete minefield.

Jonathan Safran Foer in Here I am, goes through a range of different fantasies, from teenage to adult.  He showed us  that all our daily activities are for the fantasy mill.  You may think of a recent meeting, a stranger or a celebrity.  Recent crushes, arch enemies or groups of people all shape fantasies.  Fantasies may emerge from places you’ve visited.  Fantasies can come as a surprise.  Erotic images about a door knob?  Who would have thought? And your best friend’s….you’ll keep that one to yourself.  Fantasises exist beyond even your wildest imagination!  At the back of a pub with a stranger!  You may not be the type but it’s great to think about.  You become your own movie director, with your own mind in control of the content.

Fantasises are about letting yourself feel free.  They may not be what you’d hope for in reality.  They are certainly not what you aspire to.  They are communications from the world of the ID, the dark and creative self.  There are no right or wrong fantasies, only the opportunity to get stuck in.  If you’ve ever worried that you’re too vanilla, your fantasises will tell you otherwise.  Some may always remain private, others you may want to share.

Here are some common fantasies you’ll find in popular books or magazines:

• Being a Swinger
• Domination Sex
• Role Playing
• Sex with a Stranger
• Threesomes with two women
• Threesome with two men
• Voyeurism
• Exhibitionism
• Sex with a younger man
• Lesbian sex
• Masochistic sex
• Submissive sex
• Fetishes

Share Your Images Safely

The answer to all of this self-doubt and prurience is really not to halt your fantasies, but remember that if your partner doesn’t understand your fantasies, sharing them with his best friend isn’t the answer either.  Your partner’s best friend does not need to hear the deep rumblings of your erotic imagination.  No, the answer is to be able to share your fantasies in a safe space, without judgement.  If the winds of fantasy happen to blow, then blow with them.  Whether it is foot fetishes or men in masks, let your fantasies direct you.

We’ll help you to capture the essence of your fantasies photographically while you keep your significant other in mind.  That way, you’ll capture your images with the sensuality and sophistication which will make you appear like the liberated and strong-minded person you are.  This way you can say “I’m strong-minded, beautiful and filled with passion, and I have some images that I hope will tug on your imagination….”

And as the Christmas season approaches and small elves start to invade your home, now is the time to capture your fantasies.  You’ll be shooting in a safe space where your images are guaranteed to be artistic.  In a photographer’s studio, you’ll be able to take control.  Invite your significant other to join you or capture the images which fuel the fires of your soul.